Does anyone else feel just very stuck in a rut? I feel like I did when I was 18, and had just graduated high school… like I don’t know what’s next. I know eventually a family is in the picture, and maybe school? I just don’t know. I feel so routine these days. I wake up, get ready for work, go to work, work, go home for lunch, work, go home, eat dinner, watch TV, read, go to bed (and I’m trying to add exercise in there). MY LIFE IS BORING! But, I don’t really have money to do a lot of the things I’d like to. Like go to the movies, eat out, go shopping, buy crafty junk, etc... And things that are less expensive, or free, like hiking, aren’t really my cup of tea. I wonder if I’m feeling a little blue because of the economy? I am SOOO lucky to have a good job right now. And I hate to complain about it but… man oh man, it’s hard to do be happy when none of the clients want to use your skills and you just kind of sit all day.
And, being in a new ward is hard, but for some reason this ward has been hard extra on me. I feel like I don’t fit in AT ALL. I kept telling Brock they have a mommy club, and I’m not invited. There are all these younger mom’s who, I kid you not, won’t even look at me, more less sit by me or smile or anything. And I started to think maybe it was all in my head, but no! On Sunday someone got a calling to be the young mother’s activity coordinator. Is that a joke? I mean, seriously? Only in Utah!!! It was kind of a pathetic Sunday, after whomever got that calling I whispered to Brock, “see! there is a mommy club!!! And thanks for rubbing it in my face that I can’t join” and then proceeded to cry for 10 minutes in the middle of sacrament. Good thing I’m LDS, it’s not really that odd to see a girl crying for 10 minutes in sacrament meeting…
Anyone who has known me longer then a couple years understands this is kind of how I work. I just get restless after being in one place for a while. I’m so happy with Brock! I’m not saying I’m not. I just feel so… complacent, you know?
Thanks for reading! I needed to vent.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
stuck!
Posted by Ashley Poulsen at 1:00 AM
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3 comments:
ruts are annoying. i've been feeling a bit the same way recently : minus the ward issues. Those girls don't know what they are missing by being snobs. It might be hard, but you should pick one to attach to. Hopefully when you get to know one woman in the ward, if will be easier to get to know the others.
I felt exactly like that when we were first married. I'm sure it's pretty common. You have all of these plans when your engaged and your goal is the wedding. Then, there's nothing. Obviously you still have each other but unless you're having children there's nothing to strive toward. We also had a ward that we didn't feel welcome because it was full of chiropractic students who seemed to only hang out with each other. Anyway, we had Amelia right away so that did help. But as a new mom, a lot of times you don't want to hang with people who don't have kids because you feel bad, at least that's how I feel. I have friends who struggle with fertility so I feel like I"m rubbing it in there face when we hang out because all I really have to talk about it my kids. Maybe try inviting some people over to your house. Play games and/or have dinner. That will give you some variety and hopefully you'll make some friends out of it.
-Alyssa
I totally get the whole new ward thing ash! It took me like a year in order to make 1 friend in my ward. Rather pathetic. I'm not not out going enough to totally put myself out there. Not to mention that EVERYONE in my ward has kids, so we really didn't have anything in common. It will get better. maybe you'll get called to nursery and get to meet people that way. :) or not...that's just my curse. ;) ha!
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