This is Brock, and there will be face punching...

Hey, all, it's Brock, not Ashley. I figure I should probably contribute at least once in a while, since this is about my life and stuff.

I'm writing this from work, because that is where the funny is most often born. There aren't many things in life that irrationally infuriate me. But if one more person asks me for a "face towel" or "face cloth" or some other ridiculous thing, then acts like I'm the idiot for not guessing which bathroom accessory they needed, I'm going to stop asking questions and start punching faces.

All together, people. The big one is a hand towel. It's bigger. It's like a bath towel, for your hands. See how language works? The words that we call a thing are often a very good indicator of the nature of the thing. Communication is vital to us as a culture, and you think you can just invent new terms whenever you want. See the way the small one is coarser, to better scrub things? The little one is like a scrap of cloth, that you would use for washing. Once again, language is our friend in determining a name for this cloth that is for washing. The fact that you call it a face towel, and - I assume - use it on your face, can be directly linked to the fact that the skin on your face is so irritated and dry and soon-to-be punched.