WILL YOU GO TO PROM WITH ME!? AND DANCE AND DANCE AND DANCE AND DANCE AND DANCE!!!

Everyone has a craptastic prom story, right? Well, pretty sure I can top it.
I have yet in my life to be asked to a Dance. Not that i'm terribly upset about it, but it's kind of sad... Anyway, my Jr. prom was the prom from H-E- double hockey sticks. And here we go.

First let's start by saying my friend went to Argentina as a Foreign exchange student. So when Prom started coming up and I still had no date, she said she didn't care if her boyfriend took me to prom.
This kid was... interesting. And he had a crush on Weezer (who doesn't?!) who happened to be in Seattle the same time around prom. Well, given the option of going to prom (oh yeah, he was 19 and no longer in HS) and affording to go to a Weezer concert, he choose Weezer. Granted I pretty much said it was okay, because what do you say to that?

So a week or two goes by and here we are, the week of the big dance. In the mean time of MY issues, i've found a date for my home schooled friend, who at EFY I promised I'd find her a date. Her date was a brother to one of my best friends of the time, Lori, who was dating a 24 (or some other way-too-old-to-be-dating-a-16-year-old age) year old. So, being as awesome as I am, I ALSO got her a prom dress, my mom found for me and was too big. We decided we'd go to Olive garden in Vancover (45 minute drive) so we could pick up her bf and my home schooled friend.
We'll come back to THAT in a minute.

All the while I decide to make my own dress. Which is a Vogue pattern, which if you've never made one, it's VERY difficult. Dress is a flop, and like 50 bucks down the drain. So, being the 16 year old wanting her prom dreams to come true, I have someone make it for me. She does a BEAUTIFUL job. And it's perfect. It's vintage looking, dark forest green, with silver lining. Keep this in mind.

So back to the date - the Thursday before the dance my friend Casey says that a foreign exchange student needs a date and decides we'd have a blast. We didn't.
Day of the dance, Lori comes to my house to get ready, my mom does her hair for free, which my mom hates to do. I get ready, slip my dress over my head

It rips at the waist seam. No I'm not that fat, the material was for lining and it frayed to the seam, which ripped when i put it over my head. I start bawling, my mom tells me to calm down and she takes the dress to fix it. We slip it over and the other side rips. No, I'm not kidding. Freaking out, I call my brother's current girlfriend and she gets in her car and races to my house, because this girl has been asked to EVERY dance ever. She has at least 6 dresses, and although I know they will be tight, I have no choice. When she gets to my house I pick out a WAY too small purple dress, because it's the only one that might fit.
Just on cue my date (whose name i don't remember), Casey, and his date show up. And we all pile in the car and head to pick up my Home-schooled friend. I take her date into the house to meet her parents and they inform me she needs to be home by 12. Sweet. it's already like 730. Dinner is still 30 minutes away plus, eating, then getting back to the dance, an hour away, and back to take her home by midnight. AWESOME. Stop and get Lori's 24 year old boyfriend who is... a bum. I'll just say it. He didn't dress up, in fact he was in gross baggy pants and a gross t-shirt.

Drive to dinner. Which is fine. you really can't go wrong with Olive Garden. But I overeat because I said something stupid and got made fun of and didn't want to talk anymore. Best way to stop talking? STUFF FOOD IN YOUR MOUTH!!

Headed back north we stop and drop off Lori's boyfriend, and wait in the car for several minutes as she fights with him about something. It's like 10 at this point. Drive ANOTHER 30 minutes to get to the dance, decide to screw it and get the heck out of this dress. Drop everyone off, tell homeschooled friend, I'll be back for her in 30 minutes and drive to John's girlfriends house down the street to give her her dress back. Tell John and Alison the crapiness that was my Jr. Prom and go to pick up HS friend in sweats. Drive her home, she's STILL late and I'm on the verge of tears the entire night.
Go home and try and forget this ever happened.
Recap,
Dress issues? Check
No date? Check
Set up with exchange student? Check
Make everyone else happy except myself? Check
Never actually went to my Jr. Prom? Check.

And let's not forget my mom set me up on my date for Winter Ball Jr. year.
Went to Sr. winter ball with Best friend, who's a girl.
Sr. Prom... looked awesome, loved my dress, couldn't find a date. Asked a boy in my ward who didn't want to go with me. Said he "already had a date" and ended up taking my best friend Tyler (girl, not boy) and I ended up asking someone i barely knew. Oh man, I was so cool in high school.